Taming the Mind by Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron

Author:Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: Body, Spirituality, General, Religion, Buddhism, Mind & Spirit
ISBN: 9781559392211
Publisher: Snow Lion Publications
Published: 2004-09-01T02:00:55+00:00

Peer Pressure

Although we usually think of peer pressure occurring among young people, in fact, it influences us no matter what our age or with whom we associate. None of us enjoys being insulted or misunderstood, and we all want others to think well of us. Although we know that if certain people ridicule or criticize us, we shouldn't pay attention, still we don't like to hear what they say. Thus, we may join in their activities to receive their friendship and avoid their antagonism.

What is at issue is our self-confidence. When we rely on others' praises to feel worthwhile, we go up and down emotionally, depending on what others say. We become extremely vulnerable and are easily influenced because we don't know clearly what we believe, or even if we do know, we lack the confidence to express it.

It's important to contemplate deeply that someone telling us we're good doesn't make us good and someone criticizing us doesn't make us bad. Praise and blame are only others' impressions and opinions; they're not what we really are. We have to examine our own attitudes and behavior and develop a realistic view of ourselves. In that way, we can assess our own strengths and weaknesses.

If someone accurately points out our weaknesses or mistakes, there's nothing to be alarmed at. It's like someone saying, "There's a nose on your face." It's there for everyone to see, so trying to hide our mistakes is useless. Being offended when someone else notices what is obvious is equally as senseless. Let's just accept that we made a mistake and apologize.

If someone tells us we have horns on our head, we aren't insulted for it's clear the other person is mistaken. Similarly, if we're blamed for something that we didn't do, or if others exaggerate what we did, there's no need to be angry. What they're saying is simply incorrect.

We all have good qualities, and it's important to acknowledge them. However, there's no reason to be proud of our talents and achievements, for they came about due to the kindness of others. If others didn't teach us and help us, we wouldn't have been successful. In the same way as we can accept our mistakes without resentment, we can receive others' praise without conceit. The Buddha said:

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